Wet was a modest man, who lived a life of quiet routine with a love for Mary Jane and late-night dart sessions. The only loud part of Wet’s life was his group of friends. They loved going on adventures and a big adventure was coming up as Wet was about to get married.
Wet had been dreading his stag doo for months which had been planned by his older brother and was due to take place in Prague. He knew his friends would be utter cunts and push him out of his comfort zone, but he never imagined how far they would go. The stag doo started off well, the cheeky bastard had slipped the net and made his own way to the airport, avoiding a surprise kidnapping.
Due to unforeseen circumstances however, there was a slight detour from Prague that took them to Blackpool!! (This is a story all of its own)
The stag doo started harmlessly enough on that Friday — a few drinks, some reminiscing, and a lot of laughs. But then the following morning his friends revealed an unwelcomed surprise.
“Time to suit up!” one of his friends, Rich, announced with a mischievous grin (it’s always Rich’s fault).
Before Wet could protest, they handed him a life-changing green morphsuit.
“Come on Wet, it’ll be funny!” his friends (Rich) insisted.
It’s at this point in the origin story of Green Man we should probably provide a little context. Why had Wet’s friends purchased a green morphsuit? Well, some years earlier Rich (acting all alone with no outside influence or help) took a can of green hair spray to the legend that was Taz (Wet’s cat) turning that poor little pussy kitten green – shame on you.
Knowing there was no escape, Wet very, very reluctantly put on the suit. The friends cheered as Wet stood awkwardly in the middle of the nastiest B&B / crack den they’d ever stayed in, feeling like a prize prick. He played along but all he really wanted was for the floor to open up and swallow him whole, which was a very real possibility given the shit hole they were staying in.
Wet’s friends dragged him into the bitter cold 90mph winds of Blackpool and something amazing happened.
Green Man was born!!!! And Blackpool would never be the same again (FYI – it’s still a shit hole).
Since then, with the unwavering support and encouragement of his friends, Green Man has gone international, spreading joy to the hearts of the lucky few who have had the privilege of crossing paths with the legend that is Green Man.